Dear America,
Over some months, I have grieved for many things in the midst of really trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Going on a scavenger hunt in 5 ERs in the midst of a pandemic that no one knew about wasn’t purposeful, but it was necessary. During this time I have mourned the loss of things that will never be (marriage, babies, etc.), but I never thought to mourn my country.
Tonight I thought of a program I did in Kindergarten. Weird, right? We sang “this land is your land”with such enthusiasm, and a few others I don’t recall. But as this country falls apart more and more each day, I wonder if certain ideals that have always been in place are actually worth holding onto. I’m no one special, but from where I sit I ask this question a lot. Uprooting my life to seek medical care doesn’t make me unique. There are millions like me. It makes me one example of why things must change. We haven’t been one nation under God in decades. I hope we can be again before we lose millions of lives more so than dollars. Aren’t human beings more important than the economy? This is turning into a rant, but maybe it needs to be.
You frighten me, America. I’m not scared of much at all, but being disabled in this country is frightening. Your blind eye frightens me. Your racism. Your war on the poor and the most vulnerable. It’s a real question that I ask myself sometimes if it’s too late for me to have any semblance of the life I’ve dreamed of always because I’m a citizen of the US. I’m never alone because God is with me, and my mother indefinitely, but I worry. We are being given a chance to heal this land (literally), and each other, and make a return to our roots…..God. It is my fervent prayer we don’t squash it.
Lisa