Recently, and I’m not entirely sure what triggered this line of thinking, I have been thinking about what I would say to my younger self if I had the chance. Life has for the most part not been altogether easy for me, and it certainly wasn’t growing up, but it has been beautiful. Below you will find a letter to young Lisa. Maybe some of what is below will help whoever reads this. That will be my hope.
Dear Lisa,
Hey you. 36 year old you wanted to reach out and say hello. I know that life is challenging right now. You’re in high school! Congrats! Only 4 more years until college! People bully you a lot , and you feel so out of place. The lights are so bright in classes, and every noise distracts you. You don’t care about football games, or the band. As a matter of fact, I know just as well as you do, that most of the time you spent in band for those two years in middle school you didn’t actually play that trumpet. It’s okay though. Pretty soon you’ll witness the twin towers collapsing in computer applications. That will shake you to your core always. You’ll go back to St Paul’s where you belong. The library will always remain a sanctuary of sorts. You’ll graduate and Jim L. will come!
You’ll also lose our Daddy mid year of your senior year. Im so sorry and if I could hold you and tell you that, even though you won’t believe me, you’ll always miss him but know where he ends up and eventually find peace and acceptance, i so would. You’ll fake it that year and then you will end up in Indiana for two years! You’ll fall in love. You’ll make life long friends. You’ll learn not to mix different colors of liquor. You’ll find The Church.
That last sentence is what I want to really focus on. You see, Lisa, even though you will later be chewed up and spit out by the healthcare system, your heart will be broken a handful of times, and you’ll experience true pain and horror, that presence you discovered in college was Jesus and He will make all the difference. Those painful moments will turn you into a survivor. You will thrive, and He, Jesus, will be at the center of it all. You will learn that He is the only thing that matters. He never leaves you, and you will want for nothing if your eyes are fixed on Him. He doesn’t likely care for the language you use later, and it makes Him sad when you do stupid things. But you must never forget that He loves you. That is all that matters. Not money, super model looks, or a plethora of stuff. Just Him.
The world loses focus on Him eventually. People will claim to believe in Him, but their actions will say otherwise. There will be a pandemic (google Spanish Flu), and you will survive it.
Lisa, All the bad stuff ends up creating an iron clad resolve to keep going. You do. So don’t worry! Things get better eventually. You’ll always be an odd duck, but pretty soon you’ll have more friends than you know what to do with, later an incredible dog named Ellie, and FINALLY realize what truly matters; Jesus.
I love you, and you’ll learn to love you, too.
Love,
36 year old You