There are some who may wonder why today was my best birthday to date. Why having a beautiful meal after Mass would make it so special. That’s easy. Because I didn’t know for sure that I would see it. So no matter what happens tomorrow or the next day or the day after, or if the world ends in two seconds, God blessed me with a beautiful day. And now I am talking to my angel in dog form and if that doesn’t seal the deal I don’t know what does. ❤️
Greetings, blog readers!
I’m sure many of you from around the globe and US have wondered who in the heck I am. I don’t know anyone overseas I don’t think, so hello there! Anywho, tomorrow is my 35th birthday, so I thought I would do as short as possible of a written summary of my life. It’s been a FULL almost 35 years, so the shortness isn’t guaranteed. 👀😬
I was born in Wisconsin while my Daddy was in seminary to later be ordained an Episcopal priest. Early on I was diagnosed with hydrocephalus. My fourth and final shunt ended up being put in at Wolfsons Children’s Hospital in Jacksonville Florida.
*Insert idyllic few years on the Georgia coast and Northern Indiana here.*
Eventually, my parents wanted to return to their native state of Georgia to be near their two sets of parents so that’s where I grew up. Halfway through my senior year of high school my father passed away of a massive heart attack. I had never known such a feeling of wanting to start over until recently, and I went to my first two years of college in my childhood stomping grounds of Northern Indiana at Holy Cross. It was there as a cradle Episcopalian that I not only shotgunned my first beer (🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️) but fell head over heels in love with The Catholic Church. I graduated in 05, and converted 5 years later. ❤️
Yeah, this isn’t going to be short, and my hand still really hurts from the other day. Perhaps I’ll finish this sometime on the iPad once I fix it.
Pray for me tomorrow, frands. Because tomorrow I celebrate a birthday in the same town I was given a life in in July of 86 when a brilliant neurosurgeon put in an adult sized Denver shunt into this big head of mine, and sent me off to Holy Cross years later when he did my college physical. It is a shunt that is no longer needed. God has interesting plans for each and every one of us. 🤗Here’s to all of us living our lives more vibrantly in the second half than we did in the first.
LCB
I cannot really say for sure what the worst part has been about the last few days. It is easy in the digital age that we as a human race are in for people to make assumptions about you. It is easy to be given a label by what you see on a computer screen, or for someone to assume that you are an anxious person when you actually aren’t. I used to say this often on my main social media page before I erased it permanently yesterday (or at least in 29 days it will be….I don’t understand the logic of that either.) : it is easy to make assumptions about the life someone has led by what you see on a computer screen or by the sound of their voice.
The fact is that no one truly knows me but God. Despite the things that have happened recently, I still believe that there is purpose for and in my situation. What exactly that purpose is after the last three days is a mystery, but I know there is one.
I hope to write again one day. Pen to paper. I had to write two paragraphs yesterday and have so little feeling in my right hand it’s hard to peck this post out with my thumbs. I hope for the pain I am in to ease. If it went away entirely, or was more manageable, that would be fantastic. I hope that when I speak one day my mouth will be normal and I won’t make people uncomfortable. I hope to work from home. I hope my dog can be with me soon. I hope that my heart heals itself as my brain does constantly when I receive the Eucharist. I hope that I don’t have to justify asking for help constantly from agencies in my country because of what I look like and the fact that I am newly physically disabled. I hope November comes quickly. I hope that doors open and red tape is torn down in my situation, and for others like me. I hope that God plants himself in the hearts of folks all over the world and brings about hope and revival and joy. I hope that I’m not weaker by the time things fully click, but if I am that’s okay too. Truly. Because in an age of spirituality and self actualization, I rebuke that nonsense and just want my dog and God and to be well enough to have what I need to survive. Everything else is secondary.
Lisa
It’s hard to imagine two back to back days being worse than all the days leading up to them since December 20th. I’m so nauseous after what I’ve experienced this afternoon in the heart of a branch of a health care corporation in the country of my birth. I’m so thankful I had the wear with all to go to Mass beforehand. I’d probably be feeling much worse had I not. I hope and pray that tomorrow will be a better day, and that in its newness, the past two days will be lessons. I also pray for the employees of this corporation as well as this country’s citizens who are poor and whose lives are in jeopardy every day at the hands of physicians who both care and don’t care in the disgustingly broken healthcare system in this country.
Until the last several weeks, I didn’t know if I would make it until my 35th birthday. To have been that physically ill since last year is frightening. And to be that much better now even though I have such a long way to go is exhilarating. Very odd varying emotions indeed! This Lenten journey is going to be a wild one, but I’m ready and grateful for it. I have successfully given up Facebook and I am going to do two more things. Pray for the softening of hearts of the politicians in the country of my birth and for a true revival of Christian virtue to return to the big house on Pennsylvania Avenue in my morning prayers. ❤️
Sunday is my very favorite day of the week. Especially these days. I’m truly delighted to wake up each day, but Sunday’s hold a special significance for obvious reasons and not so obvious reasons. Since the coming weeks and months will most likely be very busy, Saturdays and Sundays are for errands and Mass. Anyway, tonight’s prayer when the sun went down was especially poignant because I forgot to pray this morning. (By poignant I mean long. 😂 )Sometimes I get carried away chatting with Him. And my mama was in here too and I forgot so oops. 👀 Long story short, yay for Sunday’s! My ramp goes in Tuesday! And tomorrow PT begins. I’m both excited and terrified for that. BUT if they’re half as wonderful as everybody else, I’m cool with it. It’s remarkable but not really when you truly turn over every single thing to God, and watch Him show off. What a guy. ❤️ Let this convoluted faith journey of almost 35 years be a lesson to you, frands and blog readers. Find Him however you can. He’s worth it. Be unabashedly proud of your faith. And don’t let anyone shush you along the way. 😊
I deactivated my main social media account recently, and I have to say it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Ash Wednesday isn’t until next week, but getting a head start on what I felt would be best to give up was one of the most rewarding decisions I’ve made so far on this odd journey that has brought me to a different area. I doubt I’ll reactivate it honestly.
When I went to Mass today, I did way more than I probably should’ve (leaned forward 👀), but I was just so happy to be there. There was no checking in or any of that. It was noon day food for this journey. Now I’m watching the sun start the process of setting and about to start my end of the day chat with the big guy in Heaven. Wherever this blog post finds you in your day, blog readers, I hope today has been exceptional for you too!
I’m not sure who reads this blog, or what the purpose of it was to begin with. I have a few subscribers but I don’t know how that works. I’ve been up since 6, but my brain rewires itself regularly, and it has a lot of stuff in there so I don’t think succinctly consistently. If that’s the right wording I am not 100% sure. 🤷🏼♀️ The purpose of this blog now though is to show the world what being Catholic has done for me and how God is my life now.
I am almost 35 years old and i have lived quite a life! Through a series of events that were out of my control I am in a wheelchair now. By the way, no one is in control of anything. Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble that thinks otherwise. Honestly though I don’t give a hoot. I’m not mad at anyone. I don’t want to shut myself away. I just want to live and live out my faith in thought, word, and deed.
Today I got to go to Mass and receive at my parish. When I do the affect of receiving The Body of Christ on my body is pretty remarkable.
In short, find Him however you can. He is worth it. ❤️
I get so frustrated sometimes in my unclear moments. It seems to come out in anger or a stutter because I am not used to being physically disabled. Being trapped in this body that it almost 35 years old is so new. I am normally a very logical person and know how to help myself. But consistent care is the key to living your best in the land which I was born. That is literally no ones fault though. I am so used to defending myself from being hurt that I have a difficult time asking for help when I need it because the help that I have gotten has been in an area that isn’t kind from a health standpoint. There are so many things that I want to accomplish but I am not certain if those are possible. I hope so! But I am just not sure. I feel as if I open my mouth or move too much I won’t have the energy to keep going. But I do. Somehow.
When I was a baby I had my fourth brain surgery. It happened to have been done by an exceptionally brilliant surgeon who knows that my brain is complex. He gave my 34 years of being able to do literally whatever I wanted. I didn’t always use that time to the best of my ability.
When people in your world see a baby struggling to survive and then make it and thrive they are so thrilled that they forget about the complex brain and hydrocephalus. But that’s okay. I belong to God. He knows my brain in its current condition and my body too. He can do with it whatever He sees fit.
I am not upset at anyone. If I had the energy to speak I would shout that, but that isn’t a good idea in the condition this body is in. I would just like really great care and people to be kind. I would like to live so that I can do what I’ve always wanted. Belong to God and be happy. I don’t care what I look like.
Cheers,
Lisa
Last night I slept for 7 hours and today I took a shower sitting down. Life is SO weird. 😂 To think that I can recover and rejuvenate my really weak body seemed impossible when this journey began. I have never known what it is like to not do for myself. But literally with God all things are possible. I may not look the same again. I’m not sure. But to have access to medical care was the goal all along in this roundabout journey I suppose. I’m so relieved to live my faith and get better. Thanks be to God.