Categories
reflections

It’s been a while

It’s been a while since I’ve been THIS upset. Unfortunately for me, I have a heart issue, so I cannot cry or get upset. Perhaps writing this will help. A couple of days ago I think it was I wondered on here what the point of getting my words back was. I do not have a definitive answer. I’m not sure if I ever will.

Today I lost what little faith I had left in the healthcare system in the United States completely. Today I lost grit, fire, and drive. And today I really wondered again if I will survive. Not because I don’t want to, but because I live in the United States of America and became an adult at the wrong time. Because this system of care and this country are so incredibly unkind and broken. And because I’m a product of it.

I will never lose my faith in God despite the hand that I have been dealt. But perhaps these southern hospitals and medical corporations will treat the next person differently. I will pray for that this evening, and for my miracle. ❤️