My father died halfway through my senior year of high school, and I remember going through the second half of that year on autopilot. Thinking, if I can just get this last bit of high school over with, graduate, and go to college maybe that will fill up this gaping hole in my life. I was so desperate to go off to school anyway, but even more so after his death. I have tried to fill the hole of my sweet Daddy through the years. But you can’t escape the loss of a parent when you’re THAT young by filling it with things that really don’t matter. As I’ve gone through the medical things that I have for the past 10 months, and a horrific experience nine months ago tomorrow, the memories of him that were once so easily accessible haven’t been as easily accessed. That is, until recently. Now, when I close my eyes and sit in the beautiful silence of this new apartment, I can hear his voice or think of a silly memory. What a special gift.
My Daddy was larger than life in every way a person can be, and this December will mark 18 years since his passing. I’ve lived a lot of life in the years since he left his Earthly home for his Heavenly one, but I’d like to think that the hard living is done and I can just be who God wants me to be now. Hopefully that person will make that silly angel in Heaven with the crooked halo and Hawaiian shirt proud. ❤️