Reflections from the River

I remember in high school I took four friends to a Good Friday service at the small Episcopal church I grew up attending. These gals didn’t quite know what to make of kissing a wooden cross, and the Gospel being thrown down, but they were troopers. ❤️

I’m not sure if that story has any purpose in this little post, but perhaps I wanted to smile at that memory when I look back on these entries one day.

My mom took my little pup up to my Church today, and ran into one of my favorite folks while walking her around that massive campus-one of my priests! I know that I have a hunger for the Eucharist and the Mass, but I often don’t think of my priests. Their bold witness is awe inspiring, and their ability to minister has been hindered temporarily. Maybe I’ll venture up there on the next trip to take Elles. ❤️

Never did I think I’d be quarantined during The Holy Triduum, but today’s YouTube broadcast reminded me that priests feel a separation as well from their parishioners. Life in the wheelchair is annoying certainly. And pain to this degree is something I’ve never known, but no amount of crosses that I carry will ever compare to the one Jesus carried for the forgiveness of sins. Thanks be to God.

My Daddy would have been 64 years old today, but he gets to spend his birthday in Heaven. How lucky is he?! Although I have very little of his, I have memories in my heart and in my mind that come to the forefront if I think hard enough. He was silly, smart, funny, and many other characteristics. Most importantly he was first and foremost a father, and has gotten to hang out with the Father for 17 years. I remember once he had a massive lab named Jeb for about two seconds. Why? Because Jeb knocked me down one day, and I never saw him again. Poor dog. But that was Daddy for you. A real I must protect Lisa’s shunt at all costs. 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ Anyway, until I see him again, I know he watches out for me and that makes all the difference. ❤️

Dear America,

Over some months, I have grieved for many things in the midst of really trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Going on a scavenger hunt in 5 ERs in the midst of a pandemic that no one knew about wasn’t purposeful, but it was necessary. During this time I have mourned the loss of things that will never be (marriage, babies, etc.), but I never thought to mourn my country.

Tonight I thought of a program I did in Kindergarten. Weird, right? We sang “this land is your land”with such enthusiasm, and a few others I don’t recall. But as this country falls apart more and more each day, I wonder if certain ideals that have always been in place are actually worth holding onto. I’m no one special, but from where I sit I ask this question a lot. Uprooting my life to seek medical care doesn’t make me unique. There are millions like me. It makes me one example of why things must change. We haven’t been one nation under God in decades. I hope we can be again before we lose millions of lives more so than dollars. Aren’t human beings more important than the economy? This is turning into a rant, but maybe it needs to be.

You frighten me, America. I’m not scared of much at all, but being disabled in this country is frightening. Your blind eye frightens me. Your racism. Your war on the poor and the most vulnerable. It’s a real question that I ask myself sometimes if it’s too late for me to have any semblance of the life I’ve dreamed of always because I’m a citizen of the US. I’m never alone because God is with me, and my mother indefinitely, but I worry. We are being given a chance to heal this land (literally), and each other, and make a return to our roots…..God. It is my fervent prayer we don’t squash it.

Lisa

It is so important for the world to take things day by day. To not bury our heads in the sand, to be aware, but to only control what we can control; and to let God do the rest. The situation that the world currently faces reminds us to take life for what it is-a temporary destination on the way to an eternal home. We must change for the sake of humanity. A world that was once perfect in its infancy is broken, but perhaps it can be repaired with some TLC. I pray so. I know God wants that for all of His kids here on Earth.

Tonight, as I sat on the sofa with my dog snuggled up on my lap snoring, I was reminded of the last time she did that. It was after I first answered a free to a good home ad on Facebook. The woman that rescued my dog and her brother screened me as best she could from Alabama, and once she was mine I could hardly contain my excitement. One night after she’d run around that ancient apartment, she went to sit in my lap, and stepped directly on a blood clot. (I had lots of them then.)I cried out LOUDLY, and from that moment 6 years ago until this evening she hasn’t dared do it again. She’s a dream, my Elles. And today she discovered her newest role. Joy producer. (Along with guard /walking companion/imp/angel/friend/ and therapy dog.) The US may collapse economically. It’s well on its way, and I think of that reality when it pops into my head. There are certain realities for me personally that I think of as well. But in this bedroom with this angelic dog asleep beside me, I live day by day and miracle by miracle. I often say my Elles was sent straight from Heaven. I’ve never believed that more whole heartedly. ❤️

I used to think that I wasn’t fully known to anyone, and didn’t especially want to be. After quietly becoming Catholic in 2010, and then going to southwest Georgia to finish my degree after 2 brain bleeds, life spiraled and changed so rapidly that I almost withdrew completely. I got my dog, worked constantly, and I survived. Because God was there. People often wondered at the restaurant where I worked why I didn’t go out much, but I enjoyed my ancient apartment, and sitting around with my dog. I’m back to doing that now, and people do care….life is weird and full of Grace and Love. 🙂

Enough boring stuff about me….You see, blog readers, God is with us even now. For the last couple of Sundays, I’ve been watching a live Mass on YouTube. Father Mike speaks often about a world come undone, and today he said so many nuggets in his homily I lost track. 😂You should look it up on YouTube. Truly. It’s on Ascension Presents YouTube Channel. This world that was once perfect is undone. But God/Jesus/and the Holy Spirit are always here with us, and we are being drawn more deeply into the heart of the one who sacrificed His life for our sins. I confess I haven’t been taking a lot of time to reflect on that fact recently.

May Gods radical love help all our hearts in the days and months and years ahead.

You’re one that moves mightily, and I feel unworthy of the blessings you bestow upon me.

When I woke up this morning and saw my face, I wondered if I was seeing double. All day after realizing I wasn’t I have found I’ve been floating on a sea of Grace. My eye is normal and my mouth is too for the most part.

Many years ago, I posted a quote on social media. “Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” How true that is. (Don’t remember who said that. 🤔 )

I also don’t know what you’re up to, but thank you for sticking your mighty hand into this bedroom and fixing my face. How sweet it is to be loved by you. As my uncle said when I was able to really talk to him about you, and asked him a million questions he answered every one with, “Because He loves us.” I’ll stop babbling at night and in the morning. I know you’re busy. 😬

Lisa

I ask that you help to restore my faith in the government of the United States.

I ask that you fill the hearts of all those that feel like they’re forgotten with an abundance of hope.

I ask you to soften the hearts of those that need it-today that heart is mine with regards to my faith in this country.

I ask that as a nation we care more about keeping each other going than testing basketball players.

I ask that the America of years past comes back with a vengeance.

That those who are hot cool off and vice versa. May no person go hungry or do without in any way.

I ask that you give me an abundance of patience, and love to share with others. But in turn know when to say no, and to always protect myself from my newfound seat in a chair part time in the middle of this pandemic.

People certainly aren’t perfect. Your son is the only one that is. Please heal my heart and spirit from the traumas they have endured.

I am indeed human, but please help my words, thoughts, and actions to be more like you than ever before.

Thank you for your numerous blessings and most importantly your friendship. Thank you for every tick of my heart. You’re who causes it to beat so very very fast.

Protect my family and friends and everyone in between. We need you now more than ever. But there is always purpose.

Until tomorrow,

Lisa

People have often spoken of vocations in my life, so while I’m on this quarantine I thought I would figure out just what mine is suppose to be. Today’s reminder of what it could possibly be were the two sweet children that live upstairs coming to the window and waving and smiling while they played outside. Their mama must’ve had a talk with them to explain further about me. 🙂 Little people are the best kinds of people. Maybe while I think and pray and heal as best I can I can get that much further listening to and seeing the smiles and laughter of the children outside my window.

I’ve listened to many beautiful and profound homily’s in my 35 years, but Fr. Mikes today online was one of the most beautiful I’ve ever heard. Before that homily I began to think a lot about Grace. And Gods unfailing love.

God gave us a perfect world free from sin and devastation. Disease and sickness. Everything we could ever need, and then the serpent came into that garden and changed everything. But that serpent is no match for God. He thrives in fear certainly, but he is nothing. He’s weak and a pretender and is no match for God. I rebuke him. I rebuke the despair he brings and loves. I rebuke the division he brings. I rebuke the hate and the prejudice. I rebuke intolerance and oppression and every other evil. I rebuke Covid-19.

I mentioned a relative online today during a prayer and the leader shuttered when I said what she was into and had been for many, many years. I still wish that relative well and I imagine they had a peaceful day since thousands of people prayed for their conversion and rebuked their beliefs.

St Michael is my patron saint. Many folks don’t know that. I hope wherever you are, blog readers that you crush that serpent under your foot and that st Michael defends you this day and every day in battle. Virus’s are no match for God. Chin-up out there, readers.