As this hurricane comes closer to the state I live in, my head kind of feels like it’s own weather channel. It has for days really-Buzzing and pounding, but I’m getting used to it. I spent most of my growing up years not far from the east coast. Memories of that time escape me most days, and I didn’t live this near water. I just remember the headaches, some good stuff here and there, and the continuous reminder by my peers that I was different. But, all that aside, I wish this hurricane Eta would determine an eta, and get it over with. But even in my discomfort lately, I have found that I’m peaceful.
I have learned the hard way over the last year in particular that all anyone can do this side of Heaven is to keep trying when the road gets tough. It is an extreme myth that the great determinant of a life well lived is if it has been free of every type of pain. Peace is also important, and these days I find that I am fiercely protective of the peace I have now. A lot of the reason for that is that I am medically fragile, but the rest is because life is too short to hate what you’re doing, to be made miserable by who is around you, or just to be miserable period. I find myself appreciative these days of absolutely everything. Even the bad stuff because it teaches me to practice saying no in order to avoid a disruption of my peace. I’m learning appropriate emotions everyday, and how to live life authentically in this new body.
When I was watching the president elect’s address last night, he spoke of good angels. That, among other things, struck a cord with me. I’m so thankful for the good angels that watch over me and for a God that fills me with peace. Also for a life that has almost been cut short time and time again, and that He gives me the wherewithal to fight to keep living it.