I have been unsure about what I wanted to write about since my last post a little over a month ago. As my Grandmommy Anne once said, “I’ve just been sitting and doing some thinking.” She was onto something, and I wish I had done it sooner. What I mean is, to sit in silence by yourself for me, and I feel certain it was for her as well, is to sit in silence with God. There is a peace and a beauty found in silence, and of course it is because He is there.
I suffered another major neurological set back, really a TBI and then some, in January of 2020 right before the world began to implode on itself for a time, as you may have surmised if you have read much of this blog. Since that trauma, there have been a lot of silent moments for me. A lot of wondering about the what if’s of it all. Why me? But that doesn’t get me anywhere, so I have tried hard to not think that way. I realized since moving to a better living situation about 7 months ago, and subsequently decompressing majorly and being able to hear myself think, that I don’t need to know why. There is a purpose in everything that happens in life. Horrible things happen and God has His hand in everything. The why does He allow it to happen question that pops up after reading that statement that most folks ask themselves, doesn’t for me most days.
Clinging to God in silent moments and in moments of suffering are how saints are made. Here’s to my attempt to never stop trying to become one, and walking hand in hand with God while I do.