I don’t really have a concept of time anymore. I used to have the ability, and still do on occasion, to close my eyes and see and experience every ounce of detail in a memory. I had it pointed out to me recently, that a lot of what I’m able to remember now are the most important and the most positive of memories. That is a gift from above to be sure.
This past week, there has been one particular memory that I can’t stop thinking about. Here is that memory and some details leading up to it to put it into context.
When I was about to graduate from high school, my father passed away quite suddenly halfway through my senior year. I was already REALLY ready for that chapter of life to be over with, and the loss of my Daddy made me wish time to move even more speedily. Growing up I had a counselor that encouraged me to go out of state to college, and I did. This ended up being the best decision of my life for many reasons. Too many to name honestly. One of a number of awesome byproducts of that decision was that a stopping point between home and college if it was driven, was my grandmothers brothers house.
He and I had always had a very dear friendship, but his halfway point location made the friendship grow that much more dear. My uncle was a really cool guy. He retired early from the business world, and wrote books and traveled; the books part of that statement was done until just before he passed away.
As mentioned previously, I have no concept of time these days (thank you TBIs, nerve damage, and an ancient VP shunt), so I don’t remember when this particularly poignant chat took place. I think it was during one of those pit stops, but who knows? I just know he and my aunt were still living in the home they raised their children in. While my aunt was finishing preparing dinner, and my uncle was working on a manuscript, I was wandering around downstairs looking at all the books. Besides memories, cool art, and holistic health aides, that house had books in every nook and cranny of it. I remember stopping beside a shelf and seeing every single book ever written, at that time, by a now former president of the United States.
At that time, life and my health had not gotten particularly and unnecessarily hard, so when my uncle came out from his study, he saw me gawking at those books. He walked up to me with a smirk (I am the spitting image of his sister, which likely had a lot to do with that facial expression I’m sure) and asked if I saw anything of interest. I said of course! You have all these books by HIM. He said, “why yes, and let me guess my dear, you are still regurgitating everything my nephew ever told you as fact in regardless to your own political persuasions?” Needless to say I was silent. My uncle then said Lisa, I don’t wish for life to in any way be difficult for you. But it could be. I also know that you love people even when you don’t act like it or even want to. You may not think it now, but I know that you will one day be affiliated with a different party just as generations of your relatives in this state have before you. You are too big hearted and frankly sensible for anything other than that to occur. Right now you are just so young. ❤️
I miss my uncle, and I miss the ease of being a person that saw but did not acknowledge the cracks in society so I never had to figure out a way to mend them. In the here and now of the American experiment, We will not mend these cracks with a disregard for truth, but with a flood of love and extending a hand in the direction of those that need it most. A just society does nothing less. I believe we can be just that.