Words

When the journey I am on began in December of last year I was the sickest I have ever been as an adult, and I had no clue what was wrong with me. Before going to a bunch of hospitals and ending up here, I self diagnosed myself, and began to think of and research therapies that would be helpful. First and foremost though, I prayed to nuns online because I knew who they were praying to, and I couldn’t speak.

Needless to say, that got a lot of something I don’t enjoy; attention, and folks wondering and assuming a whole lot. I actually do not enjoy talking. My favorite thing to do is sit in silence in the mornings and evenings in my chair and watch the sun rise and set each day. To see a day begin and end is powerful. And I also do my best praying in those moments.

Anyway, God has given me verbal words back. I certainly didn’t get them back on my own. I wonder often what the point of that is. He’s also given me an inability to be anything but brutally honest, and a non existent tolerance for nonsense. Nonsense meaning suppression of my right to life, liberty, vote, and on and on. In all honesty though, at the rate things are going some days, I wonder what the point of getting my words back is. As a citizen of this country in this day and age it does me little to no good as a now medically fragile adult that is physically disabled, poor, uninsured, and so pasty I’m irredescent. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Then there is being told I need serious help multiple times, people telling me they are disgusted with me, and that I’m judgmental because I forgive them, want to make peace with them, and am highly verbal about their non Christian beliefs and approach them with love. Because no one knows me but God those feelings are understandable but that doesn’t make them any less painful when you’re trying to live, and I have had no choice but to express every hurt here while I have waited for medical attention.

Words have such power. They can be used to built someone up, or bring them to their knees. Use your words for good today, blog readers. And remember you are loved by a God so big and vast that it is incomprehensible. Pray for me and I’ll pray for you, too.