Category: reflections

I deactivated my main social media account recently, and I have to say it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Ash Wednesday isn’t until next week, but getting a head start on what I felt would be best to give up was one of the most rewarding decisions I’ve made so far on this odd journey that has brought me to a different area. I doubt I’ll reactivate it honestly.

When I went to Mass today, I did way more than I probably should’ve (leaned forward 👀), but I was just so happy to be there. There was no checking in or any of that. It was noon day food for this journey. Now I’m watching the sun start the process of setting and about to start my end of the day chat with the big guy in Heaven. Wherever this blog post finds you in your day, blog readers, I hope today has been exceptional for you too!

I’m not sure who reads this blog, or what the purpose of it was to begin with. I have a few subscribers but I don’t know how that works. I’ve been up since 6, but my brain rewires itself regularly, and it has a lot of stuff in there so I don’t think succinctly consistently. If that’s the right wording I am not 100% sure. 🤷🏼‍♀️ The purpose of this blog now though is to show the world what being Catholic has done for me and how God is my life now.

I am almost 35 years old and i have lived quite a life! Through a series of events that were out of my control I am in a wheelchair now. By the way, no one is in control of anything. Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble that thinks otherwise. Honestly though I don’t give a hoot. I’m not mad at anyone. I don’t want to shut myself away. I just want to live and live out my faith in thought, word, and deed.

Today I got to go to Mass and receive at my parish. When I do the affect of receiving The Body of Christ on my body is pretty remarkable.

In short, find Him however you can. He is worth it. ❤️

I get so frustrated sometimes in my unclear moments. It seems to come out in anger or a stutter because I am not used to being physically disabled. Being trapped in this body that it almost 35 years old is so new. I am normally a very logical person and know how to help myself. But consistent care is the key to living your best in the land which I was born. That is literally no ones fault though. I am so used to defending myself from being hurt that I have a difficult time asking for help when I need it because the help that I have gotten has been in an area that isn’t kind from a health standpoint. There are so many things that I want to accomplish but I am not certain if those are possible. I hope so! But I am just not sure. I feel as if I open my mouth or move too much I won’t have the energy to keep going. But I do. Somehow.

When I was a baby I had my fourth brain surgery. It happened to have been done by an exceptionally brilliant surgeon who knows that my brain is complex. He gave my 34 years of being able to do literally whatever I wanted. I didn’t always use that time to the best of my ability.

When people in your world see a baby struggling to survive and then make it and thrive they are so thrilled that they forget about the complex brain and hydrocephalus. But that’s okay. I belong to God. He knows my brain in its current condition and my body too. He can do with it whatever He sees fit.

I am not upset at anyone. If I had the energy to speak I would shout that, but that isn’t a good idea in the condition this body is in. I would just like really great care and people to be kind. I would like to live so that I can do what I’ve always wanted. Belong to God and be happy. I don’t care what I look like.

Cheers,

Lisa

Last night I slept for 7 hours and today I took a shower sitting down. Life is SO weird. 😂 To think that I can recover and rejuvenate my really weak body seemed impossible when this journey began. I have never known what it is like to not do for myself. But literally with God all things are possible. I may not look the same again. I’m not sure. But to have access to medical care was the goal all along in this roundabout journey I suppose. I’m so relieved to live my faith and get better. Thanks be to God.

What a strange day. Yet, I’m not mad. Not even a little bit. In this apartment miracles will happen, and I’m ready. I will make it to my 35th birthday. Something I never thought possible. ❤️

Thank you for your kindness today shown to me through your children. Thank you for waking me to remember to write a timeline of symptoms and the ability to make it. I get so out of it as the day passes, but kindness always matters. Thanks for the reminder. ❤️ Nothing else matters to me but living according to your will. To live and make a difference is powerful indeed.

Lisa

Thank you for waking me up this morning-even if it was at 3:30. Haha! Thanks for helping me throughout my journey. It’s been a long almost 35 years. Thanks for an address. My clearest hours are in the morning and you woke me up just in time. Thanks! 😍

Your frand,

Lisa 🤗

Today is a new day. Thank you for all that you have done for me in my life. And thank you for waking me up! Please help me be strong today with whatever happens. I’m scared, but I know you’re here. Please help me be strong today. To forget my fears, and to live confidently and without fear. I can think of nothing better. ❤️

Amen

I am so sleepy and truly exhausted. But tonight I made a 2 hour full confession and got anointing of the sick. Every detail of my life laid out. Every injustice. And who I have always wanted to be. The wrongs I have done. I cried. And that priest did too. I think. I hope something positive happens tomorrow. I believe in miracles. ❤️

There is power in prayer. My particular faith bracket is Catholic/Christian, in case you haven’t guessed that already blog readers. But you can find God just about anywhere, and in faiths too numerous to count. But what people seem to forget in the world nowadays is the value of all people. Every single one. They limit what God can do by being judgmental. They look at skin color or medical history or WHATEVER. You can’t limit him. It can’t be done. He just works differently in the year 2020. My life wasn’t suppose to be chaotic to this degree, but that is God for ya! He pokes his finger in your life and stirs that pot up. And he gives you an umph sometimes, and helps you do things you never imagined, and survive things you never thought you would either. When I was back living in the the Deep South after my brain bleeds, I had an apartment. That apartment was ROUGH and built right before the Kennedy assaination I think someone said. But I got it through a frand of mine. A feisty Jewish man who is in his nineties now. I loved it! There wasn’t much to it. But it was my home. It had a MASSIVE living room, a separate dining area, a studio sized kitchen, and teeny bathroom and two small bedrooms. People got evicted all the time from that apartment, but i lived there for a number of years. I paid things early, went for rides to and from school on a bike I bought until I forgot how to ride a bike one day, and that’s where I got my dog. In that living room to the right of my chair, there was a table and on it I had a homemade journal my sister made. I wrote something in there one day and put the date. The date was soon after a sweet woman tried desperately to help me and put me on lots of medicine. And wondered why it worked differently with me. There wasn’t a scan.

Soon after that I got my pup. I found her online, and she saved me from myself. I didn’t feel so scared and overwhelmed then. ❤️ She was the answer to what I wrote in that journal. A profound answer to a plea to the God I have always wanted to serve when the damage to my brain began, and I started to do weird things. When I didn’t feel blessings in small things again, and when I stopped going to Mass.