Category: reflections

The title of this post is the name of my parish. You know, blog readers, I think the oddest part about my time in this city has been that it feels like I’ve known the folks at the 12:10 Mass always. Literally. I forget that when I joke around with some of them that they have seen me progress from being on deaths door to recovering and becoming whatever version of my former self I’m meant to be physically. They don’t get my weird sense of humor, bluntness, or even know that much about me. They just know I’m suppose to be there too, spending time with God, and receiving life sustaining sustenance. Life is weird these days a lot of the time. I get so mad about nonsense because I’ve been surviving for so long I never got accustomed to fully turning over everything. I don’t trust folks as well as I should either. All that being said, life is full of tremendous joy more so than anything else. I’m so glad I’m alive to see it. ❤️

Last Saturday I went to Confession, and less than an hour ago the advice I was given came to life in the actions that I took. I surrendered to my situation this evening by surrendering to the injustice of it all and putting all my trust in God. It is in my nature by the life that I have led to constantly fight for everything. To work to survive in every way. Letting go and putting my trust fully in God is a freeing experience. Letting go of the fear that despair and evil bring are too. Goodnight, blog readers. May you be free from despair always. ❤️ It doesn’t compete with Gods grace.

My Papa Mac died when I was in first grade. Even after all this time, I remember him like he hasn’t been in Heaven for that long. He was quite an exceptional man in a myriad of ways. He was brilliant, a man that never saw the color of anyone’s skin-only the person, HILARIOUS, a snazzy dresser, a phenomenal Methodist minister, a wonderful Daddy, and the worlds best Papa. And that’s the short list 😂. Anyway, when certain things occur in my life, I feel him around me or something, and I wonder what he would’ve done in the same circumstance, or if he would’ve felt similar emotions if he had been with me. I’d like to think we are similar sometimes, and I know we would have been dear friends had he lived longer. This is a Papa Macesque post:

The presidential election in the United States this year is the most important of my lifetime. I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever when I type that statement. Tomorrow I will cast a provisional ballot in the state of Florida towards the Democratic nominee in that election. I have never been more excited. I am not 100% thrilled with any of the choices, but I will cast that vote nonetheless. There is a maniac in a big White House to the northeast of me, and for the sake of the planet, my health, social services, the lives of troops, and a myriad of other things I must vote. Some may say when they read this that I can’t vote for any of the nominees because of the issue of abortion, for starters. None of them are pro life. Well, friend, Donald Trump certainly isn’t. Shane Claiborne is an activist I’ve always admired greatly, and uses the phrase “from womb to tomb” often when describing his beliefs on life. Naw on that phrase and tell me if Donald Trump values ALL life from womb to tomb. If he is such an ardent follower of Jesus, his beliefs with regards to how he treats the poor, undocumented, disenfranchised, disabled,etc and so on of this country are about as far from how Christ would treat someone as you can get. His dishonesty, lack of integrity, malice towards anyone different than he, etc and so on are pretty appalling. And that’s another short list.

There are no political parties in America. Not anymore. Before I deactivated my Facebook for Lent and beyond possibly I changed my political party to human. That still holds true today. I am indeed very human, and am FAR from perfect. And now that my ship is being steered by God alone I find that I feel things very deeply at times and get my feelings hurt easily one minute and then am all byeeee Felicia the next. 😂 Part of that is being in a chair part time and being an oddity every time I go out in public, but that’s okay too! But today the very idea of not being able to vote in this primary left me profoundly sad, so I called the head of elections office in the county of Florida I live in. 👀😬💁🏼‍♀️ Not to get anyone in trouble but because I MUST vote, and readers in America, you should too!

I have always really enjoyed making lists. Making them i think is a leftover habit from a camp I went to in high school, or perhaps a class I took with a teacher (also in high school) who was obsessed with Stephen Covey I think is his name. The 7 habits of highly effective people is the time of the book I’m fairly positive. Plus it helps me wi5 my hand. Have to get both of them to do a little work other than flap and move wheels. 😬Anyway, this morning I made a list of about 6 or 7 things, and managed to get them all done! That felt truly fantastic. Since I will be spending so much time at home for the foreseeable future, I’m trying to come up with a routine, and nest too, I suppose. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve done a lot of really ridiculous stuff in my life, but yesterday was the second biggest birthday of my life (the first being my birth) and was such a turning point. The fact that there are only three things on the list for tomorrow is super annoying, but there will be some days like that I guess. Tomorrow is Super Tuesday which should be interesting! As a political science major, I know what will and is happening. That’s quite clear. Shame on Pete especially. Perhaps he and Joe share billionaire donor friends? Anyway……my iPad is working again so my mind is responding accordingly. Holding that phone all this time with hands that don’t work right was certainly a pain! Prepare for lots of entries. 😂

There are some who may wonder why today was my best birthday to date. Why having a beautiful meal after Mass would make it so special. That’s easy. Because I didn’t know for sure that I would see it. So no matter what happens tomorrow or the next day or the day after, or if the world ends in two seconds, God blessed me with a beautiful day. And now I am talking to my angel in dog form and if that doesn’t seal the deal I don’t know what does. ❤️

Greetings, blog readers!

I’m sure many of you from around the globe and US have wondered who in the heck I am. I don’t know anyone overseas I don’t think, so hello there! Anywho, tomorrow is my 35th birthday, so I thought I would do as short as possible of a written summary of my life. It’s been a FULL almost 35 years, so the shortness isn’t guaranteed. 👀😬

I was born in Wisconsin while my Daddy was in seminary to later be ordained an Episcopal priest. Early on I was diagnosed with hydrocephalus. My fourth and final shunt ended up being put in at Wolfsons Children’s Hospital in Jacksonville Florida.

*Insert idyllic few years on the Georgia coast and Northern Indiana here.*

Eventually, my parents wanted to return to their native state of Georgia to be near their two sets of parents so that’s where I grew up. Halfway through my senior year of high school my father passed away of a massive heart attack. I had never known such a feeling of wanting to start over until recently, and I went to my first two years of college in my childhood stomping grounds of Northern Indiana at Holy Cross. It was there as a cradle Episcopalian that I not only shotgunned my first beer (🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️) but fell head over heels in love with The Catholic Church. I graduated in 05, and converted 5 years later. ❤️

Yeah, this isn’t going to be short, and my hand still really hurts from the other day. Perhaps I’ll finish this sometime on the iPad once I fix it.

Pray for me tomorrow, frands. Because tomorrow I celebrate a birthday in the same town I was given a life in in July of 86 when a brilliant neurosurgeon put in an adult sized Denver shunt into this big head of mine, and sent me off to Holy Cross years later when he did my college physical. It is a shunt that is no longer needed. God has interesting plans for each and every one of us. 🤗Here’s to all of us living our lives more vibrantly in the second half than we did in the first.

LCB

I cannot really say for sure what the worst part has been about the last few days. It is easy in the digital age that we as a human race are in for people to make assumptions about you. It is easy to be given a label by what you see on a computer screen, or for someone to assume that you are an anxious person when you actually aren’t. I used to say this often on my main social media page before I erased it permanently yesterday (or at least in 29 days it will be….I don’t understand the logic of that either.) : it is easy to make assumptions about the life someone has led by what you see on a computer screen or by the sound of their voice.

The fact is that no one truly knows me but God. Despite the things that have happened recently, I still believe that there is purpose for and in my situation. What exactly that purpose is after the last three days is a mystery, but I know there is one.

I hope to write again one day. Pen to paper. I had to write two paragraphs yesterday and have so little feeling in my right hand it’s hard to peck this post out with my thumbs. I hope for the pain I am in to ease. If it went away entirely, or was more manageable, that would be fantastic. I hope that when I speak one day my mouth will be normal and I won’t make people uncomfortable. I hope to work from home. I hope my dog can be with me soon. I hope that my heart heals itself as my brain does constantly when I receive the Eucharist. I hope that I don’t have to justify asking for help constantly from agencies in my country because of what I look like and the fact that I am newly physically disabled. I hope November comes quickly. I hope that doors open and red tape is torn down in my situation, and for others like me. I hope that God plants himself in the hearts of folks all over the world and brings about hope and revival and joy. I hope that I’m not weaker by the time things fully click, but if I am that’s okay too. Truly. Because in an age of spirituality and self actualization, I rebuke that nonsense and just want my dog and God and to be well enough to have what I need to survive. Everything else is secondary.

Lisa

It’s hard to imagine two back to back days being worse than all the days leading up to them since December 20th. I’m so nauseous after what I’ve experienced this afternoon in the heart of a branch of a health care corporation in the country of my birth. I’m so thankful I had the wear with all to go to Mass beforehand. I’d probably be feeling much worse had I not. I hope and pray that tomorrow will be a better day, and that in its newness, the past two days will be lessons. I also pray for the employees of this corporation as well as this country’s citizens who are poor and whose lives are in jeopardy every day at the hands of physicians who both care and don’t care in the disgustingly broken healthcare system in this country.

Until the last several weeks, I didn’t know if I would make it until my 35th birthday. To have been that physically ill since last year is frightening. And to be that much better now even though I have such a long way to go is exhilarating. Very odd varying emotions indeed! This Lenten journey is going to be a wild one, but I’m ready and grateful for it. I have successfully given up Facebook and I am going to do two more things. Pray for the softening of hearts of the politicians in the country of my birth and for a true revival of Christian virtue to return to the big house on Pennsylvania Avenue in my morning prayers. ❤️

Sunday is my very favorite day of the week. Especially these days. I’m truly delighted to wake up each day, but Sunday’s hold a special significance for obvious reasons and not so obvious reasons. Since the coming weeks and months will most likely be very busy, Saturdays and Sundays are for errands and Mass. Anyway, tonight’s prayer when the sun went down was especially poignant because I forgot to pray this morning. (By poignant I mean long. 😂 )Sometimes I get carried away chatting with Him. And my mama was in here too and I forgot so oops. 👀 Long story short, yay for Sunday’s! My ramp goes in Tuesday! And tomorrow PT begins. I’m both excited and terrified for that. BUT if they’re half as wonderful as everybody else, I’m cool with it. It’s remarkable but not really when you truly turn over every single thing to God, and watch Him show off. What a guy. ❤️ Let this convoluted faith journey of almost 35 years be a lesson to you, frands and blog readers. Find Him however you can. He’s worth it. Be unabashedly proud of your faith. And don’t let anyone shush you along the way. 😊