Clinging

Something that I have always dealt with in my life is high grade anxiety. Worrying and being anxious about what is and what could be is so taxing, and if you’re in the habit of expecting everything to go wrong, I’ve found you’ll usually find something that has.

Almost two years ago, which is SO hard to believe, I went through an intense traumatic experience that turned my world upside down. Going through that took the anxiety I have always felt and multiplied it times a million. I had to build myself back cognitively and physically and I’m not the same as I once was in both of those areas. And yet, here I am, peaceful, and have come out of the other side of that situation a more strong and authentic version of myself; even though I am so different now than I once was.

What is my secret to not being anxious 24/7/365 now? Is it the survival instinct that runs deep within me almost down to the bone marrow? Partially. The secret that I’m speaking of in our society, that is always so hungry for quick fixes is actually pretty cut and dry. I cling every single day to what is above and not what is below. I have human hands to hold, as my Papa Mac used to say, but at the end of the day I know that if I cling to God that will make all the difference. He continues each day to smooth out the rough edges of the traumatic things that I have experienced and make them new and for a greater good and continually floods me with peace. For that I am most thankful.